Talking and Listening vs. Support and Solutions

We all have mental health. Whether we live with a diagnosed mental health condition or not, we all have good days and bad days and challenges that occur. And when someone we know, a colleague or friend or family member perhaps, comes to us with those challenges we have two options. We can talk and listen. Or we can support them and problem solve.

While some might feel like they are helping by trying to solve a problem, the other person might just want to vent and be heard. Or, sometimes it is the other way around. The point is, there is no right answer. However, it is still important to be aware of how we can react when someone comes to us.

It is important, because there will be times both approaches are needed. And moreover, there is a magic trick to know how to respond. Ask. Ask them what they need from you in that moment.

Sometimes, even if you might want to help solve a problem, even if they might want you to solve it, you might not know how. For example, if someone comes to you with a complex issue related to managing their mental health condition, no one expects you to become a master clinician. Yet listening and being empathetic is still a key to supporting someone and de-stigmatizing any issues they might be experiencing.

It is also important when these moments are happening to check in with yourself. While your friend or colleague might mean well coming to you, if it touches on a sensitive subject with you for any reason, you can risk being re-traumatized or can experience secondary trauma. Being firm but kind with your own boundaries isn’t being dismissive, it is ensuring that your mask is on before you help your fellow passengers.

Being mindful of these responses to another’s problems can help foster empathy, reduce stigma, and can help healing and recovery move forward.