Shame and Stigma

We talk a lot about the stigma surrounding mental health challenges, both generally and in the legal profession specifically. Yet we don’t talk enough about one of the things that feeds stigma, which is shame.

First, I want to differentiate between shame and guilt (author’s note, Brene Brown does a much better job of explaining this in one of her books, so for more in depth discussion, I suggest you check out her published works). Shame is an internalized emotion. It is about negative qualities you project on to yourself. Guilt is a negative feeling about a decision or action. The difference is shame says I am bad and I did something bad.

Guilt can help you correct negative behaviors. Feeling guilty about the fact you were late to meet your friend might encourage you to buy a watch, budget more time into when you leave, etc. Shame is saying I am a bad friend for being late. Shame is much harder to change because it is about how you view yourself.

And that is why shame feeds stigma so much. When people are struggling with mental health conditions, sometimes it is hard for them to get enough sleep or to take care of certain hygiene needs. Society shames these behaviors and too often that shame is internalized, fueling the stigma surrounding mental illness by creating the message that those with a mental health condition are bad or broken.

Consider another example. Say you promise a friend of yours you are going to run a 5k with them. Now, consider what would happen If you break your leg before the race. Obviously, you can’t run. While you might feel guilty about not being able to run, you probably aren’t going to be shamed or stigmatized about that. Now consider that your anxiety or depression make it hard or impossible for you to go to the race. That is something that is much more likely to be shamed and stigmatized.

And this problem of shame and stigma is a very real one in the mental health world. It can be the difference between someone seeking support and someone continuing down a dark road. We know the statistics about how many legal professionals are burnt out, how many struggle with depression, and how many struggle with suicidal thoughts. Sadly, the trend towards shame and stigma pushes too many towards suicide.

Yet this doesn’t have to be the case. Treating mental health conditions the way you would any other medical condition will go a long way. Letting your friends and colleagues know that you are there for them without judgment will replace stigmas with safe spaces that will help people with their recovery. Simply put, sidelining shame and stigma permanently will help save lives.